The Tainted Manifesto

Took a year off

2007-04-02T18:34:00.000-07:00

Wow! Almost a year to the day, and here I am posting a blog on the ole blog o thing. Been doing the myspace thing, but you know...

Alot has changed in the last year. My lady and I tied the knot. We are expecting our son in early July. I also... Well... Maybe that was the only things that have changed.

I plan on using this as a vent for my brain again soon. Till then, Peace.

Long time no post

2006-04-03T05:11:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it is because my life is boring, or maybe that I just haven't felt like sitting in front of this computer...

I think it is a little of both.

Bahamas Baby!

2006-01-10T05:48:00.000-08:00

We returned to the mundane world of ordinary life yesterday. The Bahamas were great, and we all had a great time. The Fantasy cruise ship was awesome. So much to do and see. (and drink) I'm still a little hung over. So do you want to see some photos? Sunrise on Cocoa Beach Florida.

Here is a little bird snatching a chip from my hand in the parking lot of the Kennedy Space Center.

One of our Coast Guard escorts out of port.

Here is a shot of the deck.

This is the Atlantis Hotel on Paradise island in Bahamas. Looks expensive.

This was our ship.

Oh dear lord.

2006-01-08T22:29:00.000-08:00

Wow. I think I have found the holy grail of nastiness, but you make the call.

Searching Google for weird words is fun. Be sure to check out the images section.

My skin is still crawling, literally.

A Sailin We will Go!

2005-12-20T06:14:00.000-08:00

For Christmas this year, we are all going on a crusie to the Bahamas. We are leaving on Jan % and will be gone for a few days. Expect plenty of pictures, and hopefully alot of stories. None that end like Natalie Halloway's.

Big boats are fine.. Airplanes I can't do. I've always been a little afraid of foreign places because if I ever have to run from someone/something I'm not sure where to go. Or how to get back.

Regardless, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year if I don't post 'tween now and then. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Peace
Dortch

The stuff that ruins your day.

2005-12-14T06:52:00.000-08:00

I ran over a kitten yesterday while driving down the highway. I know there was nothing I could do about it, but I still feel shitty. I can't get the sound out of my head. I just wonder sometimes what the hell I did to deserve such shit.

Happy Holidays!

2005-12-01T05:54:00.000-08:00

Oh, and my birhtday is on the 3rd, also. I'll be 31. Age really doesn't bother me, mostly because I can't do anything about it. It kind of rolls on with or without you. We'll probably just chill at the creek around a fire and maybe drink a little. Not the biggest drinker on earth, am I.

We wathed to old animation Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer last night as we busted out the Christmas decorations. With three pugs in the house, we very well can't have a tree, so we just decorate everything they can't reach. This will be the 2nd Christmas without my mom, and it sucks.

I didn't get one.

2005-11-22T04:41:00.000-08:00

Once again I feel like the little kid tht didn't get invited to the party. The Xbox 360 went on sale today. I didn't get one. I like to call myself a gamer, but here I sit, not playing the 360. I'll try to not act bothered by it, I've only been looking forward to it for months, but that's cool. I'll eventually scrape up enough money and buy one. Send donations to paypal under the account unbeknownst@gulftel.com. Oh 360 why must your taunt me.

I got the new Park-Like Setting album from Peanuts and Corn. I really dig these guys. No worries, I know you have never heard of them. Anyways. Gotta go get some coffee.

Not alot going down

2005-11-19T06:41:00.000-08:00

Been working alot. Been selling excess junk on eBay. Not been blogging, but I will return!

Happy Halloween!

2005-11-01T05:26:00.000-08:00

Me and my lady carved some Jack O'Lanterns for Halloween. We had a laugh when we noticed how mine wants to kill you, and hers looks like it wants to molest you.

I quit.

2005-10-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

Not blogging.. My job. This morning I quit. I went in at seven a.m. adn went about my usual task of cleaning the toilets. I had only been recently drafted into cleaning the toilets when my buddy Hoss left for Mass. I was good at cleaning the stupid toilets because I actually took time and did it right. I did them for three weeks, no raise, little praise.
Anyways..

I go in this morning and there it is. The seat is down, and the lid closed. I notice feces on the back of the toilet. You know, the tank. I wonder how it gets there. I lift the lid. Shit stuck under the lid, and on the seat. lift the seat, and there it is. stuck and dried all over the underside of the seat, the sides of the bowl, everywhere. Stuck and dried it becomes apparent to me. This poop was left for me as a sign. I just stared down at it for a minute, peeled off my gloves and decided that it was just time to go. After six years I was just walking out.

What am I gonna do now? Beats me. I sure as hell ain't scrubbing feces. I think I'll go play some golf.

Serpents inna me Garden

2005-10-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

I was strolling round our yard when I noticed this fella hanging out ina bush nearby. Naturally I had to take some pictures.

Just a little green snake making his way through the brush. For those who don't know anything about snakes, this guy here is harmless. The round pupil lets you know it's not poisonous. They rarely even try to bite you if you picked it up. It might poop on you.

It's been really beautiful weather around here lately, so my posts are no doubt going to suffer. Although we may be taking more pictures.

Our Trailor Home

2005-10-21T04:11:00.000-07:00

This is our trailor during a flood. The water almost made it to the door. This is rain and creek water, though.. Not that gas and feces water from New Orleans. Not only do we live in a trailor, but it is a rebuilt one that was free because a tree crushed it. (we did the rebuilding)

Now factor in the fact we live in the woods down by a creek and I have five broken cars... That makes us rednecks, technically.

+yawn+

2005-10-21T04:09:00.000-07:00

Not alot going on.. Not alot to write about. Just been working and practicing my swing. May get a new job next week. Oh, and I have to get a filling Monday. Nice? Certainly not exciting.

Golf is fun?

2005-10-16T20:03:00.000-07:00

Me, my lady and a few friends played our first ever round of golf. We all really enjoyed it. It was a nine hole par three course. We won't go into detail about the scores.

Now I'm afraid that since I enjoyed it, now I am going to want to play more. Guess I'll go outside and work on my swing now.

Happy Birthday HANZO!

2005-10-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANZO!

Our second oldest pug Hanzo celebrated his 1st birthday yesterday. He recieved a new chew toy, the Cat Burgler. Happy birthday Hanzo!

This poor toy probably won't last very long.

I've made a decision.

2005-10-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

I'm not one of those guys that can make something witty or thought prevoking on my blog every day. I change my stances on so many things because I think about them constantly. Not to mention that I am a weirdo anyways.

What does all of this mean? I am going to start posting more photos when I can't think of anything to write.

Here is a before and after of an apple pie I made. Enjoy.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Extreme CLOSE UP:

Meet my Animals!

2005-10-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

Alright, nothing much to write about than the usual crap, so instead of thinking of anything of real substance to write, here's photos of our animals! First up is STUMP. As you might be able to tell, Stump is a Pug. He is lazy. He is a little over a year and a half old. He was the first dog I've had in a long time, being as how I used to live on a major highway. He is a very sweet pug who has helped me through many difficult times. And he has also CAUSED a few difficult times. Here he is lazing around with our youngest dog, Scurvy. Scurvy will have his day on here soon enough. Never get a pug unless you are ready to become a PUG PERSON. I have never encounterd a sweeter, more soulful breed of dog ever. Tomorrow... You'll meet another of our animals! I bet you just can't wait.

Me take picture of bug, put on website.

2005-10-02T18:54:00.000-07:00

Holy Shit!

2005-09-27T03:09:00.000-07:00

Or maybe more like "Unholy Shit" from the looks of it. And yes it is real. My girlfriend's brother shat this wonder. Yes, it had actually completed a lap around the toilet, and looked like it was started on it's second.

I know I know. You gotta be thinking this shit ain't real.. But sorry... It is. I scanned it straight from the photo. Regardless...

And no, I don't know what he had eaten.

Not that you really cared...

2005-09-21T15:51:00.000-07:00

BUT, I put a song I made on My Spacce Music.

www.myspace.com/dortchmcgirken

I'm working on some more stuff to post on there, too.

I dig making beats and scratching and stuff. Not good at it, but I dig it.

Yikes

2005-04-22T04:02:00.000-07:00

I recently enjoyed a six month paid vacation. Paid. Six months. I started back to work about a month and a half ago.

After I put in my eight hours, I run a little side business of delivering stuff to people they can't fit in their cars at my work. Few extra bucks.

What this all adds up to though, is no time to post. Not to mention I play X Box live alot, and also my PS2. We have a ton of animals, and when it gets around this time of year here, it is hard to keep me inside. Living on a river is cool.

Nobody erads this piece of shit blog anyways, so I am really just talking to myself.

Peace out self, don't work too hard.

Rainy days BS.

2005-03-31T15:07:00.000-08:00

Yo. It's raining and I'm bored. Figure I'll mess with some wax.

Vinyl, records, LPs, whatever you wish to call it. I pretend to be a DJ. Actually, a DJ plays music, I really more or less play WITH music... So I dunno what to call myself. Maybe just a dude who digs messing with records.

I try to make beats.. I try to write rhymes. Try. I used to have a buddy with tables and we could jam.. He never really seemed to take it seriously though. He had all the cash and dope equipment. Lots of records, too. I had one table and a walkman.. Then I found a free wooden turntable at a yardsale. It had a sticker on it the said "Free! Works?" It worked good enough to play a second record on. I had the cheapest mixer I could buy. I was teaching myself to scratch!

Not too soon after he bought all of his stuff, buddy sold it all.. not to me of course. Just the mixer. It's dope mixer. Now I play around with records, and I have them running through my computer so I can use all kinds of funny programs to make up stuff. It's a blast to have your own song stuck in your head.

Today at work I found a bunch of filthy junk piled up behind the store next to the dumpster. Lots of people use of dumpster, Illegally of course, and I have often found some interesting stuff in there. Amoungst the junk was a radio. An old Montgomery Ward radio with a cassette deck and an eight track deck. I instantly scanned it for outputs and yes! Outputs! Next question... Does it work?

Ha! Does it work? It actually had rusty old batteries in it.. Back before the started putting dates on them or even test strips. I clicked in the power butten and boom! It works! Rayovac batteries still kicking!

Soon as I got home I cleaned it up. It was really filthy.. Lots of black stuff that resembled roach poop. Roaches that apparently ate some bad shit. It is cool as hell. Old ass radio that still works. Batteries, and all. I guess maybe I get excited over some stupid shit. Maybe I should start buying more rims and gold and diamonds and clothes and shoes and cars and so on and so forth.

Yea for junk no one wants.

Let's make it official...

2005-03-28T07:26:00.000-08:00

The whole Terri Shciavo ordeal has me thinking.

What is my opinion? Does it matter? How am I even supposed to act like I know anything about this woman. I'm hundreds of miles away, and all I have seen is the same ten second long tidbit of eleven year old footage as everyone else. It's all really funny.

One interview will have someone saying that she is none functioning, lying there dying. Then a different interview will have a person saying she fought off assailants with mantis style kung-fu.

Where is the new footage? What about the rest of those people in that Hospice that can't even go outside and enjoy themselves anymore because there is a mob of idiots outside. What ever happened to the law?

The Big G (government) scares the shit outta me. now they feel they can swoop in overnight and interject themselves into anything. That is frightening.

Regardless... Peace out till next pointless post.

I been working... Like a dog...

2005-03-19T10:49:00.000-08:00

Yo. Been working 11-12 hour days at the worksite. Unloading trucks and stocking shelves.... Excellent use of my highschool education.

For those who have followed me at all, my Dad is doing well. He is undergoing radiation treatment, and is in good spirits.

My pugs are good. Hanzo is getting big, and we are throwing Stump a one year birthday party on the 28th. He's getting big, too. They are both a trip, unlike any other bread of dog I have ever been held privy to.

Baseball... What a shame. All the steriod use and it is still boring as shit to watch.

Micheal Jackson.... Wow. Just wow. Poor bubbles.

Peace out for now.

Big B.S. Post

2005-03-08T17:47:00.000-08:00

Stop the presses! It's a post! By the way, I post at a completely random schedule. I may post for a week straight, but sometimes I honestly forget I even have a computer. You'd have to know me to understand.

So onward to random BS.

I feel sleepy. What is American Idle, and why do I watch it? I nearly passed out the other day. Wheel bearings are greasy. Dust and dirt from Mexico and China are best left OUT of one's nostrils. I want and need a robotic lower back. Owning a monkey would be both cool, and creepy. I nearly ripped my sack open on a rusty screw. Luckily it only jabbed me in my schlong. Breath.

Peace out. I'm sorry about the few minutes I just stole from you. If you want them back, send cash.

Happy Valentines Day.

2005-02-14T13:21:00.000-08:00

I'm not a very religous person. Alot of holidays really don't apply to me in the traditional sense, but I see them as important to others and a good chance to get together with family you don't see very often. But really, what the hell is Valentines day?

I know all about the greeting card thing. "Awe man, it was made by Hallmark to make money!" Very few things are around to actually not make money, so I guess that is true. I'm one of those sterotypical guys when it comes to remember birthdays and such. I rarely do anything special for my woman on Valentine's day, which is pretty sad considering how awesome my woman is.

Tonight I'm gonna cook her a shrimp dinner and give her a good back rub while we watch a movie. Is that good enough? She knows how I am about cards. I always write some stupid weird crap in cards because I hate them.

Maybe I'll buy her a cell phone. That way I can call her at work and tell her to make me a damn sandwhich. Regardless, I hope you guys have a good VD. Peace out.

Living the life uneventful

2005-02-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

I really haven't had alot of material in regards to blogging.. In the last few weeks, I have pretty much been a hermit. I haven't been working and it has been cold and rainy. So I have pretty much been holed up in the homestead raising the Pugs and playing video games. Well, that and alot of laundry.

I have been in a ritualistic rut. I have been taking a hot bath at the same time everyday.. Watching TV during the day.. Even making good meals for my woman for when she comes home on lunch or at the end of the day. I have been a pretty good housewife.

I cook well. I am anal about cleaning. I can wash dishs fast. I keep the yard looking decent. I know how to seperate loads of laundry.

I finally got my Malibu running again. Repeat finally.

I need to get back to doing nothing.. It's getting near my bath time.

Idleness is the playtime of fools.

2005-02-02T11:41:00.000-08:00

If so, I need one of those hats with the bells on it. It's been rainy and cold around here the last few days, so I hae been hanging out with the pugs and playing video games.

I have an X Box and a PS2. Lately I have been playing Star Wars KOTOR after returning home from a tour of duty from Halo 2 online. Do any of you like games and play them much? It's got to be one of the most common hobbies amoungst my friends. My woman likes to play some too, though not as much as me. This has lead to us having two televisions in the living room. I can play my games at the same time she watches something or does a pilates DVD. I find myself often playing games and watching TV at the same time even when she isn't around. Would that cause headaches? I feel that just sitting there watching a show... I have enough brain to throw a few more things up in the mix.

Some women probably hate guys like me. I stay at home too much and don't have a nice car. Instead of wanting to go out to a club with my guy friends and go drink, I'd rather chill at home and hang out with friends there, or go online and shoot at people while talking via X Box Live. If anyone reading this had X Box Live, I am Dortch McGirken on there.

So what if one of my hobbies is playing video games? Maybe it's frowned on because there is no real product to show for your time invested. Well, other than the story that you guide your character through. I read alot playing games.. I mean alot. Especially if it's a role playing game.

I used to play Dungeons and Dragons with a bunch of my friends, and also a table top war game called Warhammer. You had to buy all the figures for your army, and assemble and paint them yourself. I was really good at the painting process, and recently bought a few figures to see if I had the old talent still. After painting a few figures, I found that I had in fact gaining in ability. My woman and I plan to build up some armies over time and have a big battle. It will take a while.

I have no idea what this post was really about, I guess just professing my love for a few of my hobbies. Take care folks, Peace out.

UPDATE

2005-01-24T05:53:00.000-08:00

Howdy folks. My dad has his operation, and came out of it better than the doctors had expected. Thanks to all of you who kept him in your thoughts and prayers.

Now, thanks to the operation, my father will be able to remove his cathiter (sp?). You know, one of those things they put up in you so you can pee. He has prostate cancer, and it has spread.

All of this makes me realize even more the importance of getting yourself checked out early in life. If that means getting a camera shoved up my ass at the age of 35-40, so be it.

Hope everyone is doing well, it will still be a few days before I will be back on the regular.

Hey guys, I'm slightly MIA

2005-01-17T06:52:00.000-08:00

Howdy those who read this crap. I have been a little distracted by life. My father is having a risky operation this week, and it is the six month anniversary of my mother's death. I have been a little down, and thus haven't felt like sitting in front of this thing. I hope to reguile you with some fascinating stories soon as I can. Those of you who pray, please do so for my father. I'd appreciate it.

You know you are ugly when....

2005-01-12T13:49:00.000-08:00

Man, the other day, right before a shower, I decided to shave. I had a pretty burly scruff action going on so I had to hack it down with some electric clippers before I took the mach three to it.

I hacked it down to something the mach could handle, then hopped in the shower. I usually shave after the shower, when the beard is at it's softest. I forgot to shave after leaving the shower, and I never realized it till today. Two days later. I have this mangled crap of a beard goatee combo, and no one bothered to tell me. Thanks world.

I mean, jesus, my own woman didn't notice.

When shit breaks...

2005-01-11T10:02:00.000-08:00

No posts worth a crap for the last two days.. Apologies. I have been up to my elbows, literally in repairing stuff.

I have been working on my car for a few weeks now, and I think it will finally be complete today.

The washing machine died yesterday. Not really died, as much as it overflowed about ten gallons of water onto the floor, and surrounding carpet.

So, I have to deal with these matters alongside my usual duties involving the ownership of many critters.

I'll have something hopefully worth reading up here for you guys super soon!

Pimp my RIDES!

2005-01-09T18:59:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday morning. Woo hoo. I was standing there
in the kitchen preparing for my Sunday morning ritual.
My Sunday morning ritual is very similar to my regular
week ritual, which is pretty much just coffee and
coughie. Thinking for a second about what I needed to do
today, I realized that maybe I should get off of my
lazy ass and go outside to finish fixing my car.

The sweet Malibu. # 13.

I have been in the process of changing out the
powersteering system in the Malibu. It has been a
little more difficult than I had previously imagined.
I'm not a mechanic by any stretch of my imagination,
but my car is old, and pretty easy to work on. In an
effort to save a little cash here and there, I'll do
most repairs myself.

As I think back, I have owned alot of cars. All of
them have a few things in common. Never have I owned
a car made in the ninties or newer, and I have never
paid more than $1,000 for a it. The last three on the
list are actually the three I still use. Each one has
a story.

1. 1969 Oldsmobile Delta 88
2. 1974 Dodge Coronet
3. 1974 Dodge Coronet (no, not a typo)
4. 1984 Dodge Aries K
5. 1979 Honda Twinstar 180
6. 1986 Ford EXP Turbo
7. 1985 Chevy Nova
8. 1984 Dodge Omni
9. 1985 Oldsmobile Delta 88
10. 1974 AMC Horet
11. 1986 Nissan nsx
12. 1986 Mazda RX7
13. 1980 Chevy Malubu Classic
14. 1986 Mazda 323
15. 1987 Ford E250 Cargo Van

# 15. This is the Kidnap Mobile. Friends laugh until they need help moving.

I have always been a believer in buying a cheap car,
driving the life out of it, then dumping it on someone
for a few bucks. It is always a comforting feeling
knowing you could take out a mailbox and not care,
hell, with half those cars you wouldn't even notice.
Insurance on these things is cheap, too. It is also
always an adventure not knowing whether or not you are
going to even make it to your destination. Not worries
on getting car jacked. It's always fun to pull up to
a charity car wash and watch the kids try to figure
out how to wash a car that is 89% rust.

# 14. I rolled this sweet ride into a ditch last year. Also, the exhaust fell of when I was dirt road bombing. It is loud as hell, and the passenger side window is a trash bag. The driver side window is held in place with a doorstop. (but at least it goes up and down)

Random thoughts while watching TV.

2005-01-06T20:20:00.000-08:00

Here are just some random thoughts while I am sitting here watching television:

Why exactly is it that I still watch wrestling? I mean, I'm not ashamed of it because you can glean some actual fighting tactics out of it. Bruce Lee believed in watching different forms of fighting so you could even devise defenses against them. Once I nearly got into a fight with a professional wrestler. He was a friend, and I have a rule about fighting friends. So, I never got the chance to test my anti-pro-rassler techniques. And for folks whom don't believe that a wrestling move can hurt, take a d.d.t. in a parking lot and get back to me. I mean, it is just plain silly now. Wrestling. Wrestling long dropped the viel of realism. They openly admit that it is theatrics. When I think about it, it as to be one of the weirdest industries ever. How nice would it be to show up to work in your underwear, and have super loud music and pyrotechnics announce your arrival. Backwhen I was a kid, I wanted to be a wrestler. I even built my own dummy to beat the hell out of. I would have ladder matches with it, and I even flew off the roof onto it a few times. I'd smash into the gound and knock the air out of myself. I'd get the kind of whiplash that makes every thing go white for a few minutes, and your head would start ringing. It was worth it through, because I got the pin, and the victory.

What ever happened to american gladiator types shows? Nowadays it is all about beautiful people eating gross shit. I mean, when a woman is swimming in a big tank of dead rats, doesn't that mean she is getting a bunch of tepid rat soup in her cooter? *shiver* Boobs and coagulated cows blood. Nice combo.

Oh shit. Have you noticed the "Garden State Life Insurance" commercial with Mickey Rooney and his wife? In one scene his wife is talking in the foreground, and Mickey is busy washing some dishes in the background. Only problem is, he isn't washing dishes.. He is miming it. Watch close next time the commercial comes on. It really looks kinda eerie. I mean the guy reaches up to turn off the water, but it isn't even running in the first place. I hope the old guy is doing well.

Okay, I have a comment regarding this weedkiller commercial I saw. There was this dude with gardening gloves on crounched over a single weed that had grown up through a crack in his driveway. In his gloved hand is a bottle of spray weed killer that will, upon application to said weed,kill it in three days. How about pulling the fucker up with your glove idiot! Just yank that bitch! Sheesh.

I'm pretty sure I've thrown enough of my crap observations on here for now. Peace out for time being.

Honored, to say the least.

2005-01-05T09:30:00.000-08:00

Sanity's Edge was the first blog I really ran across on the ole net. Paul waxes poetic on many topics, but mostly about his life experiences which are usually overflowing with hilarity.

I never knew what a blog was, much less that I really wanted to write one myself.

So here I am, I got this blog thing rolling. I e-mailed Paul at Sanity's Edge and asked him if he would be so kind as to read my blog and maybe even list it on his roll, if possible. I knew I was really asking too much of him, but nonetheless...

Now, I sit here honored and beaming with something a prideful individual might call pride, but I call hunger. Paul was so nice as to write...

"You're all set on the blogroll. Thanks for reading! By the way, I think you've really got potential. Shit, you live inAlabama... there's got to be a lot of material for blogging. I'm scared shitless of Alabama."

With good reason Paul, with good reason. Alabama is scarey, but it is home. I guess I'm kinda like the battered woman who refuses to leave her abuser. Maybe I get off on the lameness of this state, or maybe I'm just too lazy to leave. Most likely the latter.

Thanks again Paul for your help and guidance. Mad props go out to ya.

For a stupid question, press one.

2005-01-05T08:10:00.000-08:00

The phone rings. Caller I.D. tells me that it is an incoming call. Usually when a real number never shows up, I rarely answer. Most of the time, it is some telemarketer or survey panel asking me questions. Usually I ignore these calls... But for some reason, I answered this one.

"Howdy," I answer. Howdy tends to be my universal greeting, my friends know and accept this.

Anyways, a few seconds go by, and finally some mechanized, pre- recorded voice starts with the questions. Of all things, it was questions about my choice of hardware store. After pressing buttons after a few questions, I was getting bored of the whole thing, the weirdness of the constantly changing mechanical voice was the only thing that had me on so long. About to hang up, the mecha voice asks...

"If it is alright, may I ask you a sensative question?" So I press one, indicating that I am ready for the "sensative" question.

The mecha voice continues on to ask me what race I am. How the hell is that sensative?
The choices were, African-American, Native American, Hispanic/Latino, White, and other. White race? Who the hell are the whites? Was the voice referring to albinos? I had to go with other. Why other, when it is plain to the eye to see that I am actually caucasion?

Well, I figure, if someone whos parents were born in America, and they themselves were born in America, and no one from their family has actually ever been to Africa can call themselves African-Americans, well then, hell... That means I am a Portuguese-Scott/Irish-American. My grandfather actually came here from Portugal. He joined the U.S. Army and served in WWII, made a better life for himself and raised a family here in the U.S. I am proud of my heritage, even though being a proud "white" person pretty much means that you are racist in the eyes of everyone else.

It's all good though. They have the right to think of me as they wish, both of my grandfathers helped fight to ensure that.

All that aside, I really need to go and buy some more hardware.

Catch a Buzz in the morning.

2005-01-04T16:18:00.000-08:00

I used to watch the today show in the morning. I had to stop because I grew sick of entertainment news and fashion shows. I REALLY got sick of Katie Couric.

I watch this program called The Daily Buzz now. It is great! The crew is all younger people, and they get to say what they think about any topic. They even read YOUR emails on the air. They have read about four or five of mine so far. They have a different topic every day. Check them out at www.dailybuzz.tv

Try to watch if you can, I think this show deserves the viewers.

2005-01-04T10:33:00.000-08:00

Stump and I napping.

And stay out!!

2005-01-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

I love shooting pistols. Well, really any kind of firearm for that matter.

I'm not a big hunter, in fact, I have never hunted. My Dad is a hunter, and he uses guns, bow and arrows, you know.. A hunter.

Me? I just like boomsticks. I like firing boomsticks. I like cleaning boomsticks. (I am anal about cleaning stuff anyway) I have no desire to put bullets in anything living, unless it is trying to kill me or my loved ones, rob me or my loved ones, or in this case......

Swim across the creek and attack my cats. Not people, dogs.

Why is it that people just let their dogs wander around freely all day long? I mean, I leave my cats outside, but do they go into other people's yards and attack their animals? No. Do they knock over my neighbor's trashcans? No. They wander around our yard and eat bugs and chase each other. They also stay near us when we are outside and give us company. We have two dogs here, both Pugs, and they stay inside. They are of no inconvience to anyone other than us in any way, shape, or form.

I HAD a pet turtle. I kept him outside in an aquarium so he could get real sun, and just live his little turtle life. Dogs took care of that. I found his half eaten shell down a path in the woods. Something told me that the dogs would have took him there to eat him, and I was right. I miss you little King DDD... Even if you were just a little turtle.

So. There I was earlier today, standing on the front steps of our home with Stump (our oldest Pug) on a leash. I was about to let him take his pee when one of my cats screams out! Figuring it was just my cats fighting, which they do on the regular, I dismissed it. Then I noticed it was a one sided scream. One cat screaming. That rarely happens during a catfight. Reggie (the cat in question) comes bursting out of the woods, dogs on his tail.

I keep my pistols loaded, and ready for action in a secure location near the front door. I had two of them in hand within ten seconds. Blast blast blast! I let fly rounds from the 22 magnum which I remembered was loaded with ratshot. Ratshot is a bullet that is comprised of a few dozen tiny bb's. You can't kill anything from a distance, but you also DON"T MISS. Think of it as a weak shotgun. Begin to run toward the creek as the pellets throw dirt and drop leaves all around them. I empty and drop the gun. Now that the opening act was over, it was time for the main event.

I empty the fully loaded 9mm into the ground. I really love animals, I do. Note I shot toward the ground. Ten LOUD shots later, the dogs are nowhere to be seen. I scream at the top of my lungs "Keep you F--king dogs out of our f--king yard unless you want them killed! I am sick of it! No more aiming at the ground!" I screamed more crap, but I honestly can't remember what I said, because by that time I was really irrate and big time chi'd up.

Will I be able to actually drop those dogs next time? I'm not talking about aim, I'm talking about
balls. I have no idea, and I really hope I don't have to find out.

Why can't people just keep their damn dogs in their damn yard? I guess it all boils down to individual responisibility. Meh.

Hopefully those people are looking for pellets under their dogs skin right now. Maybe it would be a little leason for them.

Smoking stuff is great.

2005-01-03T21:26:00.000-08:00

I smoked some ribs today. They were baby back ribs. This was a big step for me.

A few days previous, I tried to smoke some jerky. This jerky attempt was actually the first time I have ever tried to smoke anything. Foodwise that is.

I have worked in alot of resturaunts. Mostly seafood joints, and I even flipped burgers at a Checker's in my town for over a year. Man I love their fries.

Point is, I never have tried to smoke anything before. Long story short, my jerky ended up pretty bad. I mean, you expect jerky to be a little chewy, but this was beyond chewy. My jerky ended up being SHARP. I mean, so dried and hard that you could cut someone (or something) with it. Twenty bucks in roasts down the tubes, or up in smoke, so to speak.

So there I was. Standing over the smoker again. I'm sorry... I named the smoker today. As I was saying, I was standing over the Brinkmann, delicious aromas wafting through my nostrils....
I let them smoke for five hours. You of course have no idea how impatient I am. The moment of truth was long coming.

My baby came home from work. She told me right away how hungry she is, and how she has been anticipating these ribs. I, too, was heady with anticipation!

Those ribs... I wish I could describe. They oozed off the bone, you practically had to eat them with a spoon. Victory was mine.

The ribs are now part of the regular rotation. I think I have them penciled in for tuesday next week. I actually find myself lost in thought on what to smoke next. Any suggestions?

Holy Crap!

2005-01-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

Check this out would ya? An outlet for my inane thoughts. Right now I am thinking of how bad I have to take a dump, so peace out till later!